I AM BENDER PLEASE INSERT GIRDER

~ Tuesday, June 14 ~
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thanksmrroboto:


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reblogged via fuckyeahfirefly
~ Tuesday, April 26 ~
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the people in my american studies class were attempting to come up with a class shirt…. Thought I’d give it a try

the people in my american studies class were attempting to come up with a class shirt…. Thought I’d give it a try


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~ Wednesday, April 6 ~
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joanbeesly: Stegosaurus: Yes…yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…this land.Allosaur: I think we should call it…your grave!Stegosaurus: Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!Allosaur: Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!Stegosaurus: Oh no, God, oh dear God in heaven…

joanbeesly:

Stegosaurus: Yes…yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…this land.
Allosaur: I think we should call it…your grave!
Stegosaurus: Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Allosaur: Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!
Stegosaurus: Oh no, God, oh dear God in heaven…


577 notes
reblogged via fuckyeahfirefly
~ Tuesday, December 7 ~
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>today in outdoor ed is archery

>teacher says NO horseplay

>after shooting arrow shout “ARCANE SHOT”

>teacher pulls me out, yells at me

>mfw I tell her it’s okay, I’m specced marksman and get focus cost reduced by five

>she mad


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~ Monday, November 22 ~
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FUCK EVERYONE ELSE I AM WINNING THIS SHIRT sirmitchell: Wahoo! 13,000 followers!  To celebrate, I will give away a “NOFATCHX” t-shirt from my new shop to a random person who reblogs this!  Check back in a week to see who the winner is! 

FUCK EVERYONE ELSE I AM WINNING THIS SHIRT

sirmitchell:

Wahoo! 13,000 followers! 

To celebrate, I will give away a “NOFATCHX” t-shirt from my new shop to a random person who reblogs this! 

Check back in a week to see who the winner is! 

(Source: sirmitchell)


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reblogged via sirmitchell
~ Sunday, November 21 ~
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the similarity is uncanny

the similarity is uncanny


~ Monday, November 15 ~
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~ Sunday, November 14 ~
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I am a leaf on the wind.

Watch how I soa-BLRRHGHGRG


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~ Tuesday, November 9 ~
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STORYTIME

I have found my calling.

I’m going to be an elementary school guidance counselor. 

So here I was just walking off the bus, right? 

Right

and I cross the street, and I notice, RIGHT in my path, like 10 million 4th graderish lookin kids

there’s like 5 guys and 5 girls and they’re just shouting at each other, something about one of the guys stealing one of the girl’s shoes or something, I don’t know

I can’t cross the street because I’m already on the side I have to turn in on and they’re right at the corner

So I was like, fuck it I’ll walk through them

but right as I get there one of the chicks is like “FINE IF YOU’RE GONNA KEEP LYING WE’LL ASK THIS OLDER KID WHAT HE THINKS”

and I’m thinking “fucking fuck no shut up this is awkward as fuck I don’t care about your silly 4th grade squabbles

and the girl is like “OHMG THEY LIKE STOLE MY SHOE AND PUT IT IN THE TRASH CAN BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AREN’T THEY THE JERKS” and one of the guys goes “THATS BECAUSE THEY THREW WATER AT US AND BLAH BLAH”

and I’m thinking oh god oh god what do I do

but then

I put on my cool face.

and I’m all.

“Guys. Don’t be cockmonglers. Girls. Don’t be Vagmuffins. This is an important life lesson. One day you’ll thank me.”

“what’s a cockmongler?” “yeah, what’s a vagmuffin?”

“Ask your parents.”

and I strolled through them like a motherfucking pro.

trollface all the way home.

<—— pro fucking guidance counselor for childrens



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